I don't know how I came to be so blessed with the extra worry genes...but I got more than my fair share of them. I worry about life, I worry about death, I worry about money, I worry about tragedy, I worry about financial ruin, I worry about being alone. Worry is my oldest and nearest friend/enemy. From as far back as I can remember I have always been worried about something. So, today...nothing has changed.
I am facing a decision to go on a trip within the next week or two. By nature, I am not a traveler. I love my home and my home-life and I don't really have that vagabond gene. Insert worry here. I don't really want to go, but there are circumstances in my life that are almost forcing my hand. I hate that feeling. Regardless, if I do end up traveling, I will have an amazing trip. There is always a great sense of accomplishment when I travel like I do. That feeling of the open road...it truly is a road trip of 2300 miles and I make it every 6 weeks, give or take. But for some reason, I am not looking forward to this next one. I miss Elvis and Peanut like crazy when I'm gone, and it doesn't feel right to be away for a week with no contact with them.
Anyways, I wonder if I will end up going or not. I told Elvis I would like a night to sleep on it. I was secretly hoping that if I blogged about it, that something would come out of my post that would direct me either way. So far...nada. (poop!)
Other than the worry, today was non eventful. I sold two books and really got happy about that. It feels like that part of my business is taking off, and it rightly should. I have put a lot of time and energy into that lately and it's great to see results.
Elvis and I went to the gym this evening when he got home. I was excited to go because I started back on my Couch to 5K program again. I always use this program when I have taken a break from running to help me get my endurance built back up. So I am on Week One, Day Two. Just an easy breezy 30 minute workout. But man! Could I feel it! We walked into the gym and I was pissed to see this young buff kid in there pumping his muscles. I hate to be faced with a situation like this because Elvis is very threatened by younger men. (did I mention he is 20 years older than me?) Not that I think of him as an old man, but he definitely has issues with younger men around me. So I tried my hardest to ignore this kid while he ran around the gym doing his exercises. So far, Elvis hasn't mentioned him again, but I have a feeling he will at some point. He did ask me if I was going to love him forever and always be good to him tonight, though. I figured this was due to the kid at the gym. The thing is, (and if Elvis would believe me when I tell him this) that little kid couldn't turn my head if he tried. I always tell Elvis, that if him and I weren't together, that I would still be with an older man. They are my type. I was seeing a 35 year old man when I was 17 so that sort of cut my teeth early. ;) I have never seen age as a hindrance when dating. We had a laugh the other day when Elvis was telling me a story about something that happened in the year 1980, and he talked about what he was doing that year and where he was living. I said something about how I would still have been living in Indiana, and he busted out laughing when he did the math and we realized I would have been 3 years old. It sounds weird when you say it like that....like he was 20 years old when I was born. But after 25...age is irrelevant in my opinion. So anyways, back to the gym...I hope he relaxes in my love and realizes that no amount of 20 year olds could turn my head. I love him with all of my heart and don't ever plan to change that. He just needs to believe me.
I need to go and call my Mom 2 so have a good evening. Ta ta. :)
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